Who's Going To Come Out On Top In The Ultimate Martial Arts Fight: Steven Segal Lawman Or Michael Ja

I would love to see The Gloved One fight. His moves are so suave and slick, his sense of timing is exquisite. Heck, Steven Seagal Lawman is gonna have to be on his best to even think about beating down the zipper man!

First Stevie is ranked large, as in tents for pants and the ugliest jackets known to a homeless person. This weight will give him an advantage, should he ever put the fist to poor Michael's operation ravaged face. But can he connect when his opponent has the quickest dukes known to man?

And Stevie may have practiced Aikido since he was knee high to an oversized chihuahua, but let's hope he remembers some of his karate tricks. Michael, you see, has those slip and slide, velvet coated slobberknickers. Those hands slick and glide, duck and dodge, and can fool even the smartest artist.

To be honest, though Michael may have gotten the first few jabs in, Steven does have a few tricks up his rather large sleeves. He's got...Southern Firepower! He's got access to shotguns, pistols, and some stout, redneck nightclubs!

Uh, the hitting kind of nightclubs, not the jive and wail kind of nightclubs. Though, to mention it, Stevie does pick a mean guitar, and maybe he could swing that guitar like an ax! Surely a big old electric guitar bashed up against the side of Michael's cranium wouldcause some kind of trauma!

Anyway, I know there are going to be a few people that aren't going to go along with my carefully laid out analysis, but I want you to think about the Beat It video. In that video Michael leaps into the middle of a roaring gang fight and disarms two seasoned gangsters armed with wicked looking slicers! Tell me if that isn't some kind of tough!

And, if that isn't tough enough, you can see other videos where Michael outruns machine guns, dashes the hopes of armies of baddies, and all while singing! Sure, Steven can sing, but...I've never seen him sing in the middle of one of his movie gangbangs! Heck, all Stevie can do, in the middle of the slugfest, is grunt, look grim, and give a one liner when it is all over!

Okay, I think I've made my case, and only the largest fool isn't going to go along with me that The King of Pop would beat bejesus out of the King of Aikido. Unless the Aikido Top Kick can draw and shoot his trusty pistolo faster than than a politician's mouth! Now if only Michael would moonwalk out of the grave so we could really see this ultimate martial arts fight!

This has been fun, but if you want some no nonsense martial arts, then head to Monster Martial Arts and pick up a free book on Matrix Martial Arts.